Our Aussie Blog

The well known song ‘A Pub With No Beer’ which was made famous by Slim Dusty was adapted from the original poem ‘A Pub Without Beer’ by Dan Sheahan of Ingham in North Queensland. It was developed into a song by Gordon Parsons and recorded in 1957 by Slim Dusty. In the Top 30 Australian songs of all time, it came in at number 5.

A Pub With No Beer Lyrics

Oh it’s-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we’ll hear the wild dingoes call
But there’s-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer

Now the publican’s anxious for the quota to come
And there’s a far away look on the face of the bum
The maid’s gone all cranky and the cook’s acting queer
Oh what a terrible place is a pub with no beer

Then the stockman rides up with his dry dusty throat
He breasts up to the bar and pulls a wad from his coat
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a sneer
As the barman says sadly the pub’s got no beer

Then the swaggie comes in smothered in dust and flies
He throws down his roll and rubs the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told, he says what’s this I hear
I’ve trudged fifty flamin’ miles to a pub with no beer

Now there’s a dog on the v’randa, for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinking wine with his mates
He hurries for cover and he cringes in fear
It’s no place for a dog ’round a pub with no beer

And old Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life
Why he’s gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen, she says you’re early Bill dear
But then he breaks down and tells her the pub’s got no beer

Oh it’s hard to believe that there’s customers still
But the money’s still tinkling in the old ancient till
The wine buffs are happy and I know they’re sincere
When they say they don’t care if the pub’s got no beer

So it’s-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we’ll hear the wild dingoes call
But there’s-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear-a.
Than to stand in the bar of that pub with no beer.

"I Still Call Australia Home" by Peter Allen is a great Australian song in recent years that really strikes a chord in most Australians, particularly when they’re travelling! On a Qantas flight back in from overseas it was what they played as the plane taxied to the terminal and is a bit of a choker when you’ve been feeling homesick. It’s often used in different commercials for Qantas, Australia’s first airline (also known as “The Flying Kangaroo”).

I Still Call Australia Home

by Peter Allen

I’ve been to cities that never close down
From New York to Rio and old London town
But no matter how far
Or how wide I roam
I still call Australia home.

I’m always travelin’
And I love bein’ free
So I keep leavin’ the sun and the sea
But my heart lies waiting over the foam
I still call Australia home.

All the sons and daughters spinning ’round the world
Away from their families and friends
Ah, but as the world gets older and colder
It’s good to know where your journey ends.

And someday we’ll all be together once more
When all the ships come back to the shore
Then I realize something I’ve always known
I still call Australia home.

No matter how far
Or how wide I roam
I still call Australia home.

• Australian saltwater crocodiles are the largest reptile in the world in terms of mass (can be over 1000kg), and the largest crocodile with a confirmed measurement.
• The males can reach a length of up to 6 or 7 metres (2.5 to 3m for females), though such a size is rare.
• Each crocodile jaw carries 24 sharp teeth meant to grasp and crush, not to chew. They swallow stones that grind the food inside their stomachs (the stomach stones also serve as ballast). The teeth are continuously replaced along the crocodile’s life. Crocodiles can exert enormous pressure when closing their jaws, but the force for opening them is so weak that an adhesive band is enough to keep a large crocodile’s jaw shut. The powerful jaws can be extremely delicate, working like pencils, when removing offspring from the nest.
• Often crocodiles stay on the river banks with their jaws wide open. That is not an aggressive posture, but a way to cool off; they sweat through the mouth!
• Crocodiles have a four-chambered heart like birds (their closest relatives) and mammals, for an active life. When diving, the heart behaves like a three-chambered reptilian heart, enabling them to stay underwater longer.
• 99% of their offspring are eaten in the first year of life by large fish, monitor lizards, herons and adult crocodiles.
• Crocodiles can swim just with the help of their powerful tail up to 40 km (25 m) per hour, and can stay underwater for 2-3 hours. They can also execute jumps out of the water, gaining a lot of height.
• The first crocodiles appeared 240 million years ago, at the same time with the dinosaurs (to which they are related), had less than 1 m (3 ft) in length and ran on two feet! That’s why even today, crocodiles have longer hind limbs than fore limbs.
• Crocodiles can live up to 80 years!

We sell many different crocodile designs and products in our store – click here to check them out.

• Wombats are a mostly nocturnal herbivorous marsupial mammal and live in burrows. They are the largest herbivorous burrowing animals in the world.
• A wombat warns off intruders with an aggressive display of head shaking, gnashing teeth and a guttural growl.
• When wombats are resting in a burrow, their metabolism slows to two-thirds of normal to conserve water and energy.
• The pouch of a wombat is backward facing to avoid it being filled up with dirt!
• They have a stout body, blunt head and broad paws with strong claws making it a powerful earth-mover, burrowing up to 2 metres a night. A typical burrow is about 50 cm high and 50 cm wide and can be up to 30 metres long with several chambers including nursery burrows.
• Wombats have the largest brain to body size ratio of any marsupial and their intelligence has been likened to that of a dog.

We sell a number of different wombat related products in our store, including pewter figurines and cute plush toys – click here to check the wombat range out.

Everyone has heard of the Australian kangaroo that hops across the earth at speed, but have you heard of a tree kangaroo?

• Tree kangaroos can leap 60 feet (18m) to the ground from trees without getting hurt.
• Instead of sweating, tree kangaroos lick their forearms and allow the evaporation to help cool their bodies.
• Young tree kangaroos are called joeys.
• Tree kangaroos move with agility in trees and can leap downward several yards to another tree or the ground. When they descend a tree more slowly, they back down.

• Australia was first called that by a local explorer, Matthew Flinders, who decided to promote the name “Terra Australis”, or “South Land”. It was not officially recognised until the then governor of the country, Lachlan Macquarie named it as such in a dispatch to London in 1817.
• Australia has the largest sand island on earth, Fraser Island, which is off the Queensland coast, 200km north of Brisbane.
• The world’s largest structure created by living creatures is the Great Barrier Reef, of the Queensland coast. It’s over 2000km long, and covers an area of nearly 260,0002km.
• Possibly the world’s biggest state, (of any country) is Western Australia. Covering over 2,252,0002km’s, (the western 1/3 of the Australian continent) it is bigger than all but a handful of countries by itself.
• The area of Australia that is covered by snow in winter is larger than the area of Switzerland.
• Australia is the richest source of mineral sands in the world.
• The famous Aussie Akubra hat is named that, from the Aboriginal word, which means ‘head covering’. They are made from rabbit fur.
• The first life-saving club in the world was founded in Australia, Bronte, Sydney, in 1903. It has since saved the lives of many surfers.
• The first official world surfing championships were held at Manly, Sydney, in 1964 and won by an Australian, Bernard ‘Midget’ Farrelly.
• Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Game.
• Australians are the world’s biggest buyers of 4WD vehicles.
• In the mid 70’s, Australians were the 3rd biggest beer drinker in the world.  (behind Germany and Belgium) In the late 90’s, we don’t even get into the top ten! (fortunately)
• 70% of the world’s wool comes from Australia. We have over 126,000,000 sheep, which use fully half the continent for grazing.
• Australia is the world’s biggest exporter of beef and veal.
• Australia is one of the safest places in the world, with a murder rate of 2 per 100,000 people. The US is up around 8 per 100,000.
• The most dangerous ants in the world are the Australian Bulldog Ant, (which is up to 4 centimetres long!) and is responsible for at least three deaths.

Here we are with some more Learn the Lingo Aussie slang.

• Blow in the bag – take a breathaliser test
• Booze Bus – police vehicle used to catch drunk drivers
• Buckley’s – no chance
• Chewie – chewing gum
• Daks: trousers
• Drink with the flies – to drink alone
• Lippy – lipstick
• Road train – big truck with many trailers (big buggers they are)
• Ropeable – very angry
• Shout – turn to buy – a round of drinks usually (“it’s your shout”)
• Battler – a hard working person who is only just making a living
• Chook – Chicken
• Grouse (adj.) – great, terrific, very good
• In the nuddy – naked
• Rage on: to continue partying – “we raged on until 3am”
• Spit the dummy – get very upset at something
• Sprung – caught doing something wrong
• Spunk – a good looking person (of either sex)
• Stone the Crows – Heaven forbid!
• Top End – far north of Australia
• Bonzer – great
• Counter lunch – pub lunch
• Exy – expensive
• It’s gone walkabout – it’s lost, can’t be found
• Rego – vehicle registration
• Snag – a sausage
• Strewth – exclamation, mild oath (“Strewth, that Chris is a bonzer bloke”)
• Ta muchly – thank you very much
• Throne or, on the Throne – toilet or, on the toilet
• Too right! – definitely!

Hope you enjoyed another round of Learn the Lingo…it must be your shout, I’m thirsty after that!!

This is a great poem by John Manifold about the Stringybark Creek incident involving Ned Kelly & the Kelly Gang.

STRINGYBARK CREEK

by John Manifold

Late one October afternoon
When rain was in the sky,
A horseman shouting witless words
Came belting madly by.

Straight for Benalla Town he rode
And shouted as he came;
But no one recognized the horse
Or knew the rider’s name.

Silence came down behind his back;
On countless cocky farms
The people watched the Wombat Hills
Not moving eyes or arms.

None knew, and not for days we knew,
That in the hour he passed
Lonnigan died, and Kelly’s hands
Were dipped in blood at last.

And Kennedy was yet to die,
And McIntyre in flight
Half –crazed upon a crazy horse
Would scour the range all night.

But silence fell on all the farms
As down the road they flew –
The horse that no one recognized,
The man that no one knew.

A couple of funny Australian jokes we found floating around the email! One is about beer (no shock on that topic!) and the other about Aussie slang – with a difference!

Beer Makes Wonderful Fuel

A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.  That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.

Not bad eh!

From the Editor – I think their estimation on beer consumption is a little low!

Australian Slang with a Twist!

The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition.

You may need to be an Australian to understand!

• Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole.
• Bludgie: a partner who doesn’t work, but is kept as a pet.
• Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact.
• Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine.
• Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle.
• Mateshit: all your flat mate’s belongings, lying strewn around the floor.
• Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity.
• Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans.
• Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he’s above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.
• Crackie-daks: ‘hipster’ tracksuit pants.

And for the Kiwi’s amongst us:

• Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.